Fuck it… I dont care if im paying for the name. I think I’ve narrowed it down to this… Tiffany Novo.
aBominAsian
i'm a pretty awesome asian dude....i'm a nurse, but don't get it twisted. i work on an island called 7 south...and everyday is a struggle for survival. i post ads on missed connections daily, because i'm THAT romantic.
“She’s Everything”
She’s a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She’s I want a piece of chocolate
Take me to a movie
She’s I can’t find a thing to wear
Now and then she’s moody
She’s a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a-blowing
She’s a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She’s a warm conversation
That I wouldn’t miss for nothing
She’s a fighter when she’s mad
And she’s a lover when she’s loving
[Chorus]
And she’s everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
‘Cause she’s everything to me
She’s a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She’s a cross around her neck
And a cuss word ‘cause its Monday
She’s a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She’s a one glass of wine
And she’s feeling kinda tipsy
She’s the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She’s a picture in my wallet
Of my unborn children’s mother
She’s the hand that I’m holding
When I’m on my knees and praying
She’s the answer to my prayer
And she’s the song that I’m playing
[Repeat chorus]
She’s the voice I love to hear
Someday when I’m ninety
She’s that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes
I only love her more
Yeah, she’s the one
That I’d lay down my own life for
And she’s everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She’s everything to me
Yeah she’s everything to me
Everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She’s everything to me
Why am I nervous?
For the next two weeks I’ll be working the day shift. For some odd reason these little butterflies have set up a temporary residence in my stomach. This was totally unexpected. Wish me luck!
I feel like a kid who never grew up. My six year old niece called immature the other day.
I tried harder than any human alive to get totally hammered in vegas… And nothing! I mixed drinks. I downed shots like water. It was kind of upsetting by the fourth day… Close to $700 worth of liquor. Notwithstanding… I had an awesome time. But there’s something about blacking out an entire day/night from your existence that holds such an alluring charm… Well… I can try again in August!
On a totally different tangent… I feel fat :(
IN THE LABOR ROOM....
- PART 1:
- Sister: What do you see? Do you see anything?
- Me: You really want to know?
- Sister: Why? What do you see!
- Me: It looks like ROAST BEEF?
- Sister: Fuck You!
- Me: What? You asked...
- PART 2:
- Me: (*on my mind* Whoa Nasty she's totally fisting her) Good Job Sister! Keep pushing
- Bro-In-Law: (*looking down and thinking the same thing*)
- Me: I saw that in a movie once
- Bro-In-Law: LOL
- Doctor and Nurse: (*looking at me like I'm a perv)
- Me: LOL
I hate going home home… (I need a DRINK)
I decided to spend the weekend at my parents place. Michelle is working…. and well… I kind of missed my family. But it’s the same old song and dance EVERY time I come back. My mom accuses my dad of “this” my dad denies doing any of “that” and I’m in the fucking middle. I don’t know who to believe. I call my sisters. They come over hug up on my mom. My dad looks all lonely so I go over to him. I’m getting tired of this shit! I remember when I was much much younger I’d cry myself to sleep thinking what would happen if they got divorced. I feel horrible saying this but I honestly think they might have led happier lives if they did. I wonder if they stayed together because of us (the kids). Or because Filipino people rarely get divorces. For whatever reason these fuckers need counseling.
I’m not happy… I don’t know what to do…
PLEASE GOD…
take the shits away… AMEN
I want to vomit…
So… I ate some dirty soup. And I got the shits! I can totally deal with that. I mean… I’m a guy! But I just saw something in my parents house that made me all queasy in another way.
Here’s the background info: So today is my sister’s baby shower and my parents are hosting the shindig in the house. We have a huge backyard and a big deck that accommodates about hundred people. Unfortunately it’s currently pouring in NY and the monsoon has forced the party indoors where the capacity been pushed beyond legal limits. It’s a fucking mad house and I’m not feeling well… So I decided that I was going to spend the rest of the day in the only room that is off limits to the mob downstairs…. MY PARENTS ROOM! Big mistake! So I decide to lie on the bed and watch some tv and relax until everyone left. Its kind of my routine at these family events. So I flip on the tv and chillax. I stretch my arms out and my hand accidentally brushes against their headboard… but it brushes against something slimy. So naturally I investigate the source of the sliminess and I find a half empty tube of KY JELLY!!!! FML
I ate dirty soup. I can feel my intestines undulating! Help me! FML
inspired by my little brazilliant friend…
To my unborn daughter…
1. All men are evil. Except your daddy.
To my unborn son…
1. Spread your little asian seed my boy! Make poppa proud!
